Recently two blogs I read regularly (postsecret.com and slashfood.com) have fostered discussions about the appropriateness of certain postings that some (perhaps even the canonical “reasonable person”) found gross, upsetting, and/or inappropriate.
In both cases there were more voices in support of the postings than opposed. The politest of the supporting arguments were on the theme of “get over it”; there were many less polite arguments, accusations of censorship, and so forth.
The best response from the “opposed” camp was from a commenter called Radiofour, whom I have no way of contacting so I hope s/he won’t mind my quoting the comment in full:
I am in absolute disbelief that it annoys people SO MUCH that people were upset by the image, which has now gone. I can’t get my head around the fact that just because you didn’t understand why it upset people, it somehow gave you the right to belittle people, tell them they were pathetic, and tell them their feelings were not real.
-It had nothing to do with it being photoshopped, or fake
-It had nothing to do with it being a breast, or a seed pod
-It had nothing to do with whether the urban myth could happen or not
-It was not a matter of being offended or ‘grossed out’
-It is useless comparing it to shocking secrets, because most of them do not contain shocking images when taken out of context.
-It is useless telling people to ‘get out in the real world’ and see some truly terrible things to compare this to.
If you don’t understand any of those points, or why people were disturbed by the image, that’s great! You’re very lucky. The bottom line being that you don’t understand, so you’re not really in a position to judge. Not only that, but most of you clearly aren’t even reading the comments anyway, because the majority of us wanted the postcard LEFT UP. I didn’t want it removed, and very few did.
Ironic really, that the postcard (that everyone is defending as a real secret that should be left up because hey everyone, it’s someone’s feelings) was about how that image had stuck with someone and made them feel horrible every time their mind wandered back to it – which is exactly what you’re all having a go at everyone else for.
I understand that this is over now but I’m just so amazed at how many people feel the need to tell others how they should or should not feel. How people react to this is not your call.
In the end, I think it’s about the kind of community that the blog owners want to create, and how to balance the needs of one group (let’s say the squeamish) against another’s (say, those with a desire for wider freedom of expression). I think I hear Radiofour arguing that all sides deserve a hearing. Within the context set either explicitly or implicitly by the blog, I quite agree, and I’ll be fascinated to see how it plays out in both cases.
I recently read an essay by a guy who helped out an older gentleman who was having difficulty at the grocery store self-checkout. The author cogitated about the changes the older gentleman had likely seen in his life, and was sad on his behalf that the simple process of buying groceries should be so daunting for him.
I gotta say: I’m feeling the old guy here. I wouldn’t mind using self-checkout once in awhile, especially when I have just a couple of things, but the machines hate me and thwart me at every turn. Today, for example, I tried to buy some broccoli. Did I have the PLU? No I did not. Would I like the machine to look it up for me? Yes I would. “Please wait.” So I waited, and waited, and waited. The line behind me grew restive. Finally I gave up, collared my stuff, and was heading to the regular checkout line when the attendant accosted me. She explained, as if to a child, that I ought to look up the PLU in the little booklet placed up out of eyeshot. I asked the machine to look it up, I protested. She looked at me pityingly and said, “The machine has the wrong code in there and it gets messed up.”
This has been another edition of “How Not to Design User-Friendly Systems.”
I admire people who love the holidays. I’m just not one of them.
One of the things I love about Leonard Pitts is his ability to write about his faith with humor and warmth yet without sentimentality. Today’s column was especially good.
“What do you hear when no one else sees or hears? When you walk in places where no one knows your name? When you curse the brokenness of your own life? When flood and famine strike the wretched and the vulnerable? When the diagnosis is cancer? Do you see me then? Do you hear me then?”
It took me a moment. ”Sometimes,” I said finally. ”Not always.” I thought about it a second, then added: “But I’m always trying.”
”Why?” asked God.
I looked past Him. The sun seemed to be sinking into the clouds. The sky was growing dark. ”Because nothing else makes sense to me,” I said.
God smiled.
… and from a ?happy flaming baked potato? (from Cake Wrecks)
Rogue Angel pointed me to the Typealyzer, which infers a blog author’s Myers-Briggs type. Last I checked I was an INFJ, but this is pretty close.
INFP – The Idealists
The meaning-seeking and unconventional type. They are especially attuned to making sure their beliefs and actions are congruent. They often develop a passion for the arts or unusual forms of self-expression.
They enjoy work that are aligned to their deeply felt values and tend to strongly dislike the more practical and mundane forms of tasks. They can enjoy working alone for long periods of time and are happiest when they can immerse themselves in personally meaningful projects.
I get migraines infrequently, but when I do get them they’re deadly. I had one all day yesterday and part of today, and even though the pain’s gone I still feel weak and shaky. I had intended to put together some cookie doughs today, but the prospect of blending butter and sugar together just seemed way too hard. Pathetic!
I have had fairly unpleasant experiences with two different online feminist communities. Generally things go along fine until I propose a discussion about feminism and Christianity, and then all hell breaks loose. There is a small minority of women who identify themselves as feminist Christians, but as one of them told me “they tend to keep [their Christianity] to themselves.” After seeing some of the hateful comments directed at people of faith in general and Christians in particular, I totally see why.
In my farewell visit to one of these communities today, I read a discussion about police officers. One person posted about her difficulties with a relative (who happens to be a police officer), several people chimed in to trash cops as Tools of the Patriarchy ™, and a member who happens to *be* a police officer politely and promptly resigned her membership, saying that it shocked her that “people who claim to repudiate the othering of groups of people indulge themselves in othering groups of people.”
I could have told her something about that. But in doing so, I myself am becoming someone who “others” that group of people who “others” others. [insert Warner Bros. "yi-e-e-yi-e-e-yi-e-e" sound.] Seriously, though, I take this as a reminder (which I need approximately hourly) that I must listen attentively to points of view other than my own (insofar as I’m able), and that healthy communities are not those that require ideological purity tests but those who gather freely and openly around issues of common interest and try to make it about all of us rather than the favored few.
